If you watch professional wrestling for so long, eventually you see the same crap year-in and year-out. A lot of gimmicks and storylines are recycled. Many past exploits are glorified and rehashed for a new generation. Stables have a reunion tour, tag-teams get revitalized, old grievances are brought back into the spotlight. One of the longest running stalemates is the actual matches themselves. How many times can you see a six-man tag team match on Smackdown before you fast-forward the DVR? Fellow writer Ross Huggins and myself were making light of the Ray Rice situation and thought it would be amusing of WWE or TNA to use this time to introduce a new elevator match. We came up with Forty Floors of Hell Match!
The stipulation for the match is similar to an Iron Man Match–usually a 30 or 60 minute match where the competitor with the most pinfalls at the end of the time limit is the winner. In our match, though, it’s the competitor that enters the elevator the most times and rides it down a floor that wins. Let me explain. The match starts at the top of a 40 story building. The elevator doors are open and the ref rings the bell. Both competitors start fighting and there is a timer as to when the elevator doors will close. You have to beat your opponent down enough to get into the elevator and drop to the next floor. That counts as one “pinfall” for you.
Meanwhile, your opponent must get up, barrel down the stairs, and make it to the next floor before you escape from the elevator otherwise they are disqualified. At each floor, when the door opens, the immediate area is filled with various implements of pain you can use against your opponent. Tables, steel chairs, Kendo sticks, garbage cans, catering tables, briefcases and other items you’d typical find in an office, maybe other elevator doors or even using a marble tiled floor for suplexes and slams. The elevator keeps going down until it hits the lobby and the wrestler with most elevator rides wins, or until one of the competitors is beaten so badly they can’t get down the stairs to the next floor and they get disqualified.
Or, Ross suggested, “They don’t have to make it to the next floor by the time the other makes it in the elevator. That’s too much. Especially if they’ve been beaten badly enough. they have to make it to the next floor via the stairs before the time is up on that floor. That builds drama so that one can be beaten so badly that they miss a couple of floors. It looks like the other wrestler is on the way to a win. Then like 3 floors later, they are waiting at the elevator door with a kendo stick or whatever to beat them and win the match.”
This match sounds simple and childish, but think of all the amazing things that could be done with this. Maybe neither man makes the elevator and they have to battle on the stairs, using high-flying moves by jumping off platforms and steps. Or maybe a guy in a stable has his teammates waiting on one of the floors so when the door opens their opponent gets ganged up on and beaten. There could be funny cameos too, where guys in suits reading the newspaper are in the elevator at some point and get off on various floors, holding conversations with the winded, bloody wrestler riding along with them. They could even have this sort of match at WWE Headquarters. Since every major city they go to has skyscrapers, this would be a fun way to include that city. They could maybe open the match up free to a small number of the public so that when the match gets to the lobby and erupts, people are there cheering. Maybe even have a 20-20 tie and the lobby has a ring waiting for a sudden death face off.
This match would be entertaining and could have other stipulations added to it as well. Maybe lumberjacks so that every few floors, there is a group of 5-10 guys that take action. Or do a one-armed behind the back match. Or a two-on-one handicap match. Or this type of match with a triple threat stakes could be fun as well. Or they could have a pair of elevators next to each other and both competitors ride down side-by-side and when the doors open, you go out and beat your opponent up hardcore style and go for a pin or submission move. After the brief “match”, you both get back in the elevator and ride down another floor. And the tally continues until the lobby.
This idea is the ultimate hardcore match. What do you all think? Who would you like to see in a Forty Floors of Hell match? Ross suggested Solange Knowles and Ray Rice should be in the first match. But we kid, we kid. Let’s us know in the comments below what you think.